Monday, April 15, 2024

PR Guru launches high-tech assistant in major Ai move

Greg Simpson, the Nottingham-based PR behemoth and former business journalist, who really should know better than to issue a story on a Bank Holiday, has announced his latest innovation.

According to Simpson’s missive, which was announced via a cloud of hot air, smoke and mirrors, “Pepe” will “transform the way writers of press content approach these dark arts and bring it kicking and screaming back into the good old days when life was simpler.”

As yet, it has not been revealed exactly how the assistant works but Simpson has apparently been teaching it basic commands which render the use of adjectives in headlines and opening paragraphs impossible to execute without an override.

Capital letters in job titles are also understood to be under threat.

As are curiously short paragraphs that add little value but do break up the copy and lead seamlessly into a quote, like this one here: “It’s high time that professional press botherers like myself started to take the impact of Ai more seriously,” Simpson explained.

“The threat to original thought, content and humour is very real. Meanwhile, the impact of that on being able to build a brand that people can actually be bothered to take at least casual notice of is as palpable as the content is pulpable.”

Beta-testing of “Pepe” in a controlled environment has already produced promising results, with helpful suggestions from the system including: “Hey! It looks like you’re writing a press release,” “Try a quote that doesn’t mention being DELIGHTED” and “Please don’t use the photo of you shaking hands below the company logo.”

Early adopters of Pepe can get a trial account by using the code AFool.

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